I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Houston, we have a squirter
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
