You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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