oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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