There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
