Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
