Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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