Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
