Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
