I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
