That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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