thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
