Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
