she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
sex in a hospital.. check
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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