Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
