Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
