I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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