When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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