Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
