This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
