The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
