y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
As shirtless as possible
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
