Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
