Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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