so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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