i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
