so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
