Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
