think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
