in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
