I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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