I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
