I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
