Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
