I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
