Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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