So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
