shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
