My friends, they love my intelligence
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
