I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
