I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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