How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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