I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
