through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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