My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
And then the night went full on bisexual.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
