I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
