can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
