this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
