They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
