Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
