guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
