wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
