I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
false alarm, still single
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
