This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
